I'm Not the One
by animeroxursox
Summary: Mattea's existence would've been wiped off this earth if it wasn't for Abel. Songfic (I'm Not the One by 3OH!3), self harm, possible triggers, fem!Canada/Netherlands


**For ****Wolfen Artist of Hetalia**

**I don't own anything**

_You're way too young to be broken  
You're way too young to fall apart  
You're way too young to play these games  
But you better start  
But you better start_

_This is when it starts_  
_From the beating of your heart till the street lamps talk to you_  
_Jumping off of the edge or asleep in your head_  
_Everything's turning dark to you_  
_I went to pick the up the parts_  
_The doctors hiding the charts_  
_He won't let me see this side of you_  
_It's on the tip of my tongue_

_You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you_

Mattea slipped through the hallways, hidden by the shadows. It was near midnight, and everyone else in the household was fast asleep. She could even hear her brother Alfred's snores. She tiptoed into the bathroom, and pulled out her pocketknife, and poised it over her wrist. She dragged it across her arms, carving intricate patterns into her skin. Once she was satisfied with the feel of the warm blood running over her arms, she wrapped her arms tightly with towels, ceasing the blood flow.

...

It was a regular school day for Mattea. Everyone, even her teachers either were ignoring her, or just forgot about her. Even Alice mistook her for Alfred, even though they were opposite genders. Lost in her thoughts, she ran into something solid. She fell on her bottom with an "Oof!" Looking up at the supposed "solid thing", she realized it was Abel Morgen. A blush quickly spreading across her face, she jumped up and gathered her books.

"Sorry," she said, looking at her feet in an attempt to hide her blush. "I'll see you later, I guess..." she trailed off, nearly running from Abel. He was just left staring in her direction.

Abel trudged over to the janitor's closet to get some cleaning supplies. He had to clean the first floor as punishment for picking a fight with Antonio. He opened the door, and his eyes widened with shock at what he saw.

_I'm not the one  
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you  
I'm not the one  
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you  
You better find somebody else to get a hold of yourself  
I'm not the one  
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you_

_You're way too young to be broken_  
_You're way too young to fall apart_  
_You're way too young to play these games_  
_But you better start_  
_But you better start_

_It was the second I lit_  
_Your first cigarette_  
_I forget who you used to be_  
_And I bit my lip_  
_The second you sipped, the poison that was mixed for me_

Mattea was cutting herself, when Abel walked in on her. He saw all the cuts she had inflicted upon herself, since her hoodie sleeves were rolled up. She immediately turned her head at his gasp. She dropped her pocketknife, and ran. She pushed past Abel, and ran. When she heard his footsteps running after her, she ran even faster. But her efforts were in vain, as strong arms encircled her waist.

"Mattea, wait!" Abel said.

"Why should I! No one even notices me! I'm always mistaken for Alfred, and he's a different freaking gender!" she yelled. "It's obvious no one cares for me!"

"I notice you Mattea." Abel said. "And I care for you."

Mattea froze. Did he just say what she think he did...?

"Well you don't know what I go through. Hell, sometimes even my parents forget about me!"

"I do know what you're going through, because I've been through it before, especially the cutting. I actually had a failed suicide attempt once..."

"You did?" The Canadian asked.

"Yeah... And I stopped because I went for counseling." he said, immediately approaching the subject.

Mattea immediately cast her glance at the floor. She knew this would come up. "No! I don't wanna go to that madhouse!" she said.

Abel sighed. "I actually went to the Hetalia Mental Institute, and everyone was really nice. They could understand you. So please go for me!"

Mattea hummed, thinking about it. "I'll think about it."

_I'm not the one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you_

_I'm not the one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you_

_I'm not the one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you_

_I'm not the one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you_

_I'm not the one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you_

__It's been a year since Mattea agreed to go to HMI. Abel was going to pick Mattea up, since they were now dating. They started half way through the year, when Mattea confessed that she would've went mad without his visits. Not that she didn't like it there, it's just that they were sort of cut off from society. Abel also confessed that he shared her feeling, and it all progressed from there.

He was glad that he had caught Mattea, because she revealed that she was planning to commit suicide a little while after Abel found her.

**Hmmm. I'm not really happy with this. Oh well ^J^**

**Please review!**

**Hasta la Pasta~**


End file.
